


Usnavi woke up on the wrong side of the bed

by orphan_account



Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: i need jesus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 23:11:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10650039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ......this is literal trash...i apologize...





	Usnavi woke up on the wrong side of the bed

Usnavi woke up on the right side of the bed. HE SLEEPS ON THE LEFT WHAT IS THIS ONARCHY! (how you say?) “FUCK THE WORLD” USNAVI SHOUTED AND PROCEEDED TO ROLL OUT OF THE BED ON THE FLOOR AND ROLL TO THE DRESSER. “SONNY!” HE SHOUTED. 

 

THE COUSIN  (who can hook him up with something) WALKED IN. “WHAT?” SONNY ASKED, DISREGARDING THE FACT THAT HIS COUSIN WAS ON THE FLOOR. THAT'S NORMAL USNAVY BEHAVIOUR. 

“GET MY HATE! I MEAN HAT!” EBENEZER SAID THOUGHT HE ACTUALLY MEANT HATE

“CAN'T YOU STAND UP AND GET IT!”

“NO!” 

SINNY THIGH THE PUERTO RICAN BITCH HIS HAT. 

USNAVI ROLLED OUT OF THE ROOM AND DOWN THE STAIRS. 

“I'M GOING TO THE BODEGA!” 

“YOU'RE IN YOUR BOXERS!” 

“TRY AND STOP ME, BITCH!” 

SONNY RAN (NOT ROLLED) DOWNSTAIRS AND LOCKED THE DOOR. “TRY AND GET OUT NOW, DOUCHE CANOE!” 

USNAVI BIT HIS ANKLE AND YELLED  “RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!” 

“YOU JUST BIT ME! RESPECT YOUR YOUNGER!”

“NO!” 

USNAVI ROLLED DOWN THE DOOR AND TO HIS BODEGA!

ABUELA

THE FIRST PEASANT TO COME IN THE DOOR WAS JEVIN ROSARU AND HIS WIFE, HER NAME DOESN'T MATTER. I THINK IT WAS JOHN. 

 

HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO ASK USNAVI FOR A LOTTERY TICKET! THAN HE TOLD HIM THAT THEIR BITCH ASS HOE OF A SON OR SOMETHING WAS COMING HOME FROM CLOWN COLLEGE! HIS NAME WAS LINCOLN OR SOMETHING. 

 

THEN THOSE TWO GHETTO BITCHES FROM THE SALON CAME IN TALKING ABOUT SOME, “YNESSAS GAY ASS BOYFRIEND WAS FUCKING ANOTHER MAN” AND USNAVI WAS JUST LIKE,”BITCH I ALREADY KNEW THAT!” 

 

THEN SONNY (not the one from earlier a different one) CAME IN LATE TALKING ABOUT SOME, “CHILLAX CUZ YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME” AND USNAVI WAS LIKE, “BITCH! I LOVE YOU ABOUT AS MUCH AS JEVIN ROSARIU, JOHN AND THAT SON. GO STACK THE MOTHER DUCKIN TWINKIES.” AND SONNY WAS LIKE “NO” 

 

THEN SOME DUDE CAME IN ASKING FOR CONDOMS AND USNAVI WAS LIKE “GOOD! AT LEAST YOUR NOT MAKING ANOTHER LITTLE MISTAKE TO COME INTO MY STORE! I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT THING BREAKS I WILL KILL YOU, YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND YOUR BABY!” THE  HE LAUGHED AT THE GUYS CONDOM SIZE. 

 

THAN JENNY CAME IN TELLING USNAVI HE AIN'T GOT NO SKILLS AND USNAVI SAID, “YEAH! WELL TELL THAT TO YOUR DAD!”

AND HENNY WAS LIKE, “YOU FIRST!” 

THAN SODSY WAS LIKE “I'M SITTIN ON THIS STOOP LIKE A NINCOMPOOP..”

THAN DEBBY STOLE A MILKY WAY, AND TWO PAPERD AND USNAVI SCREAMED, 

“WHAT THE HE'LL DO YOU NEED TWO PAPERS FOR! DO YOU THINK THEIR GONNA BE ANY DIFFERENT! GIESS WHAT BITCH! NOTHING HAPPENED IN HAMILTON LENGTH.”

 

THAN NINA WALKED IN ON THE PHONE AND USNAVI WAS JUST LIKE ROOOOOODDDDD!

 

THAN SHE WAS SHOCKED WHEN USNAVI ASKED FOR MONEY SO USNAVI NUKED THE TOWN. 

 

ONLY USNAVI DIED. 

 

ONLY 

USNAVI 

DIED


End file.
